By Eddie Capparucci, MA, LPC
Sitting on the couch in my counseling office, Sondra wore a blank expression on her face staring off into space but her mind was racing with thoughts about her husband Dennis. When I asked her what she was thinking about she quickly rattled off a list of worries and concerns.
“Why would he do this to our family?”
“What is going on in his head? Is he still thinking about them?”
“How do I know he will not do something like this again?”
“Is he learning anything about himself that will help him change?” Continue reading “Stop Keeping Her in the Dark”
The Lent season is upon us and it’s time to prepare for Easter. In preparation of this celebration, many of us will attempt to sacrifice something during the 40 day Lent season. Why? Because Lent is a time to recognize we have distanced ourselves from God and through prayer and fasting we seek repentance. It also allows us to re-focus on heart and mind on Him to help better understand His Will.
“Giving something up” for Lent is a form of fasting. According to an article in the Washington Post, in 2015 the most popular Lent sacrifices were: Twittering, swearing, smoking, and chocolate. In 2016, I am suggesting something a little more radical for men who struggle in lust.
Starting on Wednesday, Feb. 10 for the next 40 days consider embarking on a lust-free fast. What would a lust-free fast look like? It would be refraining from not only viewing pornography and masturbation but also R-rated movies; television programs that consist of heavy doses of sexual references; random Internet surfacing that can lead to pop-ups and display ads that contain sexual imagery. It also means not fantasizing about pornographic images when having sexual relations with your wife. It is about controlling your eyes and turning away when you see a woman who you feel compelled to lust after in your thoughts. Continue reading “Sacrifice Lust for Lent”
Although this site is intended to help men who are struggling with sexual integrity, I thought it was important for readers to understand women also can have trouble dealing with sexual integrity. The usage of pornography among women is growing rapidly and with it an increase in the number of women who are becoming addicted. Here is one woman’s story toward recovery.
To my dear friends, family members, random readers, church leaders, loved ones of addicts and addicts…
Please know that my story is a very personal one. I do not share my story lightly and I admit I do have fears that there will be negative repercussions both for me but especially for my family. But, I trust in the Lord and I continually find safety in the words of King David: “The Lord is on my side, I will not fear what can man do unto me.” It has slowly been revealed to me over the past couple of years that it is my mission in life to spread hope to those who currently feel the shame that I have felt; who are bound by the chains of the adversary as I was and who feel totally and completely lost as I once did. To you I say; you are not alone. There is hope. To the rest of you, if you have negative things to say, please just don’t. My target audience is to spread hope to those who can relate to what I have to share and awareness to those who have loved ones that may be struggling, or just to those who want to hear a great story of how the Savior rescues and heals the broken. Continue reading “Women Also Struggle with Porn”
I received this question from a reader recently.
Eddie, I have been happily married for 13 years and my wife and I have sex approximately once a week. I also masturbate (without pornography) about two times a week. Do you believe I have a sexual integrity issue?
From: Wanting to Honor Her Continue reading “Am I Being Faithful to My Wife?”
This is just one example of what our children are exposed to everyday by the media. What is the message they are receiving about women? And you want to know why there is a sexual integrity issue in this country. Continue reading “Commercial Objectification”
Another Valentine’s Day is right around the corner and men are busy trying to determine the best gift to give to the special women in their lives. The array of ways to show you care is endless: jewelry, chocolates, flowers, brief getaway, cards, dinner, etc. The holiday serves as a wonderful way to celebrate how much we love our partner.
But then comes the day after Valentine’s Day.
That’s the day when all of the hoopla is just a memory. We will fall back into our routines and busyness. And many men will fall back into their lust for pornography.
Perhaps they had given it up for a day to focus on their wife or girlfriend. But now it’s the day after Valentine’s Day and time to return to the ugly habit that dishonors and objectifies women. It’s time once again to engage in selfishness that will break hearts if they should discover what takes place behind closed doors.
Maybe instead of a traditional gift this year, you should give your loved one a gift that demonstrates how much you respect her as woman. Commit to beginning the process of working on treating your addiction and removing it from your marriage or relationship. Honor the special woman in our life – which includes your daughter(s) – by taking that brave step of admitting you have a problem and doing something about it.
This Valentine’s Day give her the commitment of bringing purity back into your relationship. If you don’t know how to go about that visit http://www.SexuallyPureMen.com and read what is involved in the process.
This year give her a Valentine’s Day gift that will change yours lives forever. Give her a gift that will make the day after Valentine’s Day the start of something beautiful and meaningful in your relationship.
Eddie Capparucci, MA, LPC is a licensed Christian counselor with a private practice in Marietta, GA. Feel free to re-post and share this article. You can read more of his thoughts at his blogs:
What happens when you are a pastor and you find yourself suffering with a sexual addiction? That is the story of Jason Mahr. Jason, with the proper help, fought and overcame his addiction. Currently he runs a ministry designed to help people become free of pornography, as well as restoring and rebuilding healthy relationships around them. Take a moment to read Jason’s story.
-Eddie Capparucci, MA, LPC
I get asked every day why I started Restoring Minds Consulting (www.restoringminds.org). The reason is very simple, but it isn’t easy or pretty. I used to be a pastor, doing youth ministry and other pastoral roles for the better part of the last 20 years.
Continue reading “From Pastor to Porn to Providence”
If you think pornography is a teenager or adult problem think again. Our children are becoming exposed to sexual images and graphics at an age that is unthinkable. The following is an article written by best-selling author Kimberly Rae who also happens to be a concerned mom. Take a moment as she unveils 10 ways moms can protect their children from pornography.
American children begin viewing pornography at an average age of 11. More than 7 out of 10 teens hide their online behavior from their parents in some way. 35% of boys say they have viewed pornographic videos “too many times to count.” The average age for a boy to be exposed to pornography is 8. I would not have believed that had my husband not told me he was introduced to it by a schoolmate at age 9.
Continue reading “Pornography and the Boys We Love – 10 Tips to Help Moms”
BY KRISTINA BEHR AND ANDREA CAVALLIER
NEW YORK — Nearly 32,000 people have liked Christen Brandt’s Facebook post, and thousands more have shared the image of her standing, holding a cup of coffee bundled up in a scarf, parka, tights, and boots.
Brandt said she was walking through a crowded subway station when a stranger catcalled her and commented on her appearance.
She says in part:
“A man passing by me said, ‘Damn, you have some great legs.'”
When I ignored him and kept walking, he turned around to follow me, to get closer, even as I was moving away. ‘Did you hear me, honey? I said you have nice legs. Damn! Thank you.'”
“It was the ‘thank you’ that got me,” she continues. “As if my 5 inches of legging-covered skin were there for him. Given as a gift, wrapped in brown tights. Existing in the world for him to appreciate, or not.”
By posting about her experience, she asked her friends to consider the impact women’s clothing choices have on how they are treated in public.
“All women have these moments. All of us. And yet the world acts as if it’s still our problem to fix.”
Brandt’s message has struck a chord with thousands, and dozens of commenters have echoed her sentiment.
One Facebook user commented:
“Yup. This is not at all surprising. Happens all the time, and I am sure way more than we notice.”
Looks like a government official is taking pornography seriously. Sen. Todd Weiler of Utah has introduced a state bill that would declare pornography a public health hazard. As you can imagine, the senator is getting a lot of grief from individuals who find nothing wrong with pornography and see it as “victimless”.
However, we know that is not the case. Pornography is responsibility for the exploitation of women; the objectification of women; the destruction of marriages; and for giving men a distorted view of sexual relations between a man and woman.
If there is no issue with pornography why do a large majority of men hide it? Why don’t they discuss it around the water cooler at work? Why not bring it up in small group discussions at church? But that is not the case. If they do share their lust for pornography with others it is often done online in chat rooms under false alias. Continue reading “Utah: Porn is a Bad”