A client of mine who is working hard to manage his sexual addiction shared with me a poem he wrote after reading various verses in the Book of Matthew.  As he read, he felt God was speaking to him about his journey and what he has learned about himself and his addiction. 

As you read, you will see he has spent a great deal of time in self-reflection, reawaking painful memories he had buried to protect himself. I believe it is this type of insight and courage that is at the core of learning how to manage your sexual/pornography addiction.  You also will see that he has used these new insights to understand how much he is loved by his Heavenly Father. I hope this simple, yet powerful poem inspires those of you who are struggling.

What I have seen with my eyes

I’ve seen the fear of my childish mind, afraid of the pending night sleep and the nightmares that await me 

I’ve seen the eyes of an angry father, burdened by his past and an unhappy life 

I’ve seen the eyes of a hurting mother, begging for a husbands love and tormented by the loss of her mother 

I’ve seen beauty twisted at an early age, a seed that would corrupt my heart 

I’ve seen bullying up front and the isolation of feeling no good 

I’ve seen the divorce of my parents and the resulting shame and hatred 

I’ve seen a failed marriage and a dream that died 

I’ve seen the desperation of myself wondering where I would end up

But I’ve seen Light

I’ve seen a light that peaks out of the darkness 

I’ve seen a love given to an undeserving me

I’ve seen grace, an introduction to the Heavenly King

I’ve seen the love poured out from a Father, who gave His son for me 

I’ve seen beauty restored by a God who breaks chains 

I’ve seen dreams of being born from a Father, who never let them die within me 

I’ve seen faithfulness from a Savior when I had given up hope 

I’ve seen a promise at the beginning from a God that always follows through

I’ve seen the heart of Jesus