Why Can’t I Quite Porn?

By Billy Hallowell

This article first appeared in the online publication The Blaze.

A Christian counselor penned a piece for the XXX Church ministry this week to try and explain why so many people struggle to overcome porn addiction, calling it “heartbreaking” to see peoples’ “endless attempts to get sober only to succumb to temptation over and over again.”

Photo credit: Shuttershock
Photo credit: Shuttershock

Eddie Capparucci, who is a sexual addiction therapist based in Georgia, said in a piece titled, “Why Can’t I Quit Porn? Get to the Root,” that people need to get to the root of their addiction if they truly want to conquer it.

“At the heart of all addictions is emotional pain,” Capparucci wrote. “Addictive behaviors are used in an attempt to conceal the hurt we feel by serving as a distraction. And they do an excellent job keeping our emotional pain in check – for a brief time.”

But he said that once the “high” wears off, people find themselves back where they started. It’s a dynamic that Capparucci said many porn consumers might not realize is unfolding.

“Now you may be saying to yourself, ‘I don’t feel any emotional pain. I use pornography simply because I like it.’ This is not unusual. It tells me you have done an excellent job suppressing troubling emotions,” he continued. “In fact, you may have a difficult time in expressing any emotion beyond anger, happiness, or sadness.”

In the end, though, he said that there’s something “lying at the core” of a person’s addiction: the reason why they “abuse sex,” saying that there are many causes, including: a need for affirmation, entitlement, control, a thirst for attention, weakness, a failure to emotionally engage, and a variety of other potential factors.

 In the end, Capparucci argues that “a key to freeing yourself from abusing sex is learning to identify and manage your emotional pain,” urging readers to use XXX Church’s “My Pilgrimage,” a program intended to help people combat porn addiction.

As TheBlaze previously reported, porn addiction has been a subject of increased discussion of late. In fact, top medical researchers explained earlier this month at a pastors gathering in North Carolina how pornography use physically affects the human brain, revealing information not well-known outside of the medical and scientific communities.

Photo credit: Shutterstock
Photo credit: Shutterstock

“Porn is all of the sex — without the body,” Dr. William Struthers, a professor of neuroscience and psychology at Wheaton College in Chicago, told TheBlaze. “It gives you every aspect of a sexual encounter without the physical touch or the smells.”

During his presentation at the event, dubbed “The Set Free Summit,” Struthers explained and elaborated on many topics, from how the human brain changes under repeated pornography use to how the brain naturally has its own “mirroring” effect to how natural bodily hormones — such as oxytocin — can bond a person to pixels on a screen.

To view this article online go to:

http://www.theblaze.com/news/2016/04/20/why-cant-i-quit-porn-therapist-reveals-why-he-believes-so-many-people-cant-shake-their-heartbreaking-porn-addiction/

 

 

Give Up For Lent

By Eddie Capparucci, LPC, CCSAS

Every year the conversation in our home surrounding what to sacrifice for Lent is pretty entertaining. Each individual throws out an idea, while other family members counter argue why they believe it is not a true sacrifice. It’s always the usual list including sweets, bread, or electronics. In reality, all are good ideas and serve the purpose of denying oneself over a period of 40 days.No Porn Sign

Last year I proposed men make a sacrifice that could have long-term and healthy outcomes for themselves and their relationships.

“Give up Lust for Lent.” Continue reading “Give Up For Lent”

How to Determine if You are a Sex Addict?

Sometimes it is difficult to determine if someone is dealing with a sexual addiction. A man who views pornography a couple times a year may be acting inappropriately and hurting intimacy between him and his wife, but it doesn’t mean he is a sex addict. sexual-addiction1

A sexual addiction is diagnosed when sexual activity has a negative impact and effect on other parts of a person’s life including relationships, finances, health, safety, employment, and/or relationship with God. 

The following is a brief assessment to help you get an initial read if you are indeed struggling with a sexual addiction. Check each one that applies to you.

Does your mind wander with sexual thoughts throughout the day?

Do you spend more than 4 hours a week viewing pornography or engaging in sexual chat/video rooms on the Internet? Continue reading “How to Determine if You are a Sex Addict?”

The Red Thread Movement and Its Fight Against Sex Trafficking

Linda Egle first learned about the problem of sex trafficking in 2008. She had already been working with women in extreme poverty for years, but upon hearing of the enormity of the problem of trafficking, she wanted to get involved. kcn-rtb

Soon after, Linda met our future partner who had established an anti-trafficking organization in Nepal. His goal was to stop girls from being trafficked into brothels in India and provide a safe place for victims of trafficking to live and heal. They formed a partnership and began to work together to put an end to the trafficking of Nepalese girls. Continue reading “The Red Thread Movement and Its Fight Against Sex Trafficking”

Uh, oh! Pornography Users Outed

It’s a frightening day for more than 800,000 users of the porn site Brazzers. Seems hackers got into the site and have uncovered and leaked user names, emails and passwords. This could be as embarrassing as the leaks that occurred with the Ashley Madison account last year. 

Here’s the complete story from the Sept. 5 edition of The Sun.

It could end up being one of the most embarrassing leaks in the history of the web.

porn site leak

Up to to one million porn users have had their details leaked online

Adult site Brazzers confirmed that nearly 800,000 users’ details had so far been compromised.

According to Motherboard, the leak includes full emails, user names, and passwords. Matt Stevens, public relations manager at Brazzers, said: “This matches an incident which occurred in 2012 with our ‘Brazzersforum,’ which was managed by a third party.

“The incident occurred because of a vulnerability in the said third party software, the ‘Bulletin’ software, and not Brazzers itself. It could end up being one of the most embarassing leaks for many in the history of the web. “Brazzers takes the privacy and safety of its users very seriously”, he continued. Those who use the site have been advised to change their passwords and emails.

“Brazzers takes the privacy and safety of its users very seriously”, he continued. Those who use the site have been advised to change their passwords and emails.

 

 

 

3 Messages You Send Her When You Watch Porn

“I don’t know what you are so upset about. Every guy watches porn. It’s no big deal so why don’t you just leave it alone.”

I am blown away by the number of men I meet in my counseling practice who have uttered those words to their wives to justify their pornography addiction. In fact, many men believe watching pornography is as harmless as watching football. In their minds, since “every guy watches porn,” then it’s a harmless activity.

But they’re wrong.

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Viewing pornography is far from harmless, especially to the emotional well-being of our wives. When we watch porn, we are sending extremely hurtful messages to our spouses.

While we may not intend to communicate self-worth eroding messages, nevertheless these messages are coming through loud and clear. Here are three of them.

Continue reading “3 Messages You Send Her When You Watch Porn”

4 Reasons Why Women Are Not Sex Objects

According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, the definition of objectifying is as follows:  “to treat (someone) as an object rather than as a person” Now think for a moment if people started looking, referring, and treating you like an “object”? How do you believe you would feel? Insulted? Demeaned? Dishonored? Befouled? Humiliated? Tarnished?

How about outright pissed? You know you would be! So why then is it considered cool or even natural for us men to look upon women as playthings created simply for our own gratification? This type of behavior rings with an air of superiority, which we have no right to claim.couple-913236_640

“There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” Galatians 3:28,

There is no mistaking that men and women are different. However, they also are seen as equal in God’s eyes. And if the Creator sees them that way, then how can we not? There are many reasons why women are not sex objects and should not be treated as such. Let’s take a look at four. Continue reading “4 Reasons Why Women Are Not Sex Objects”

So You Think Women Enjoy Being in Porn? Think Again.

Readers, the following first appeared on the website ThePornEffect.com. It is a letter written by a young woman who spent time in the pornography industry. For those men – and even some women – who think there is nothing wrong viewing pornography, you need to read this.

Dear Porn User,

I want you to know that I don’t write this with any hostility to you. Maybe you watch porn but don’t want to. Maybe you watch porn and don’t want to stop. Either way, thanks for reading.internetporn

I was a “porn star” for only six months but featured in over twenty films. I’ve been there, I’ve done that, and I’ve seen the reality of what the porn industry is really like. I think many people believe falsehoods about porn. Falsehoods which, if they knew them to be such, would probably try harder (or try at all) to stop watching porn. Continue reading “So You Think Women Enjoy Being in Porn? Think Again.”