Category: Sexual Addiction

The Trouble With Comfort

By Eddie Capparucci (with special guest Tom Moucka)

Today we have a guest post from one of my favorite writers, Tom Moucka, president of Samson Society, an organization dedicated to helping men break free of pornography addiction.

Comfort 2

I have always believed our objective to achieve 100% comfort in our lives is troubling and counterproductive. I wrote about this topic in-depth in my book, Removing Your Shame Label: Learning to Break From Shame and Feel God’s Love. Our quest for continuous comfort leads to various complications:

  • It actually increases our anxiety because the goal to maintain a state of mind focused on continuous peace and comfort is impossible to achieve and only leads to frustration
  • It shifts our attention away from blessings in our lives as we instead focus on the few circumstances that just aren’t going right for us at the moment
  • Our running from emotional pain prevents us from engaging in self-reflection that could lead to healthy solutions such as the acceptance life will not be a bed of roses
  • It distracts us from turning to God, the true source of comfort, for nurturing in our times of need

I am not saying comfort is a bad thing, however, when it becomes our primary objective, we lose sight of things that are truly important.

One reason many individuals become addicted to pornography is they use it as a comfort source to escape underlining anxiety.  Their inability to sit with emotional distress leads them to seek escape routes. However, the distraction is short-lived and they soon find themselves again in front of a screen seeking another shot of pseudo comfort.

Tom provides some powerful insights on how our need to run away from emotional distress is negatively impacting our mental, emotional, and spiritual growth. Let’s read as he gives his perceptive on the trouble with comfort.

“In all this, you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory, and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.  Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.” 1 Peter 1:6-9

THOUGHTS TO PONDER

It is hard to maintain an eternal perspective, particularly if you are comfortable. We go to great lengths to be comfortable, and for good reason – it’s no fun to be uncomfortable. However, these days comfort has taken on a life of its own. It is considered a severe offense to make someone uncomfortable, even considered grounds for dismissal at some companies and universities. In many places, you can find a “safe room” where you can go to cuddle plush dolls or play with puppies when you feel uncomfortable. The upside to this is an increased awareness of the things we do to disturb others. There is a downside to it though.

Comfort, whether emotional or physical, is all about self and it numbs our awareness of deeper needs. One of my mentors was a black pastor who was fond of saying, “When my people were slaves they knew they had a desperate need for Savior. Today we think our needs are a bigger flat-screen TV or a hotter car.” He certainly wasn’t longing for the good ‘ole days of slavery, but he was lamenting the downside of comfort. Peter would agree. He says faith in the midst of our trials draws us nearer to Jesus in praise, glory, honor, and inexpressible joy. That is the safest of safe rooms.

PRAY: Thank you, Jesus, for the inexpressible joy of knowing you as my Savior.

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Check out my latest book available on Amazon and other online book outlets. Going Deeper: How the Inner Child Impacts Your Sexual AddictionGoing Deeper cover FINAL