By Eddie Capparucci, LPC, CSAS, CPCS
It’s not unusual for parents to dread having the “talk” with their children about sex. It’s certainly uncomfortable, and it can be very challenging to find the right words to discuss such a sensitive topic. But if you don’t have that talk, your kids will still learn about sex. And most likely they will learn from watching pornography. 
It is estimated that over 35% of kids between the ages of 10-14 have seen pornography. The problem is it’s too accessible. Just one wrong click or a child’s curiosity regarding a word or topic they heard their peers discussing at school, can lead to young eyes being exposed to some very heavy and dark stuff.
Most children, when they first are exposed to pornography are shocked and even frightened by the images. But again, curiosity gets the better of them, and they go back to check it out again and again. Their young brains are being trained to receive unhealthy doses of dopamine, a pleasure enhancing neurochemical that ultimately contributes to addictive behavior.
A circumstance I often hear in my private practice is children who stumble across porn when using a computer at home because dad forgot to close out the xxx websites he was viewing earlier. I will tell you, there is nothing worse than seeing the grief and despair of fathers who realize their behaviors have led to their children seeing pornography.
And the porn of today is not your father’s porn. The trend over the past 15 years has been the creation of pornography that focuses on degrading, humiliating, and hurting women. It also communicates that women enjoy these types of behaviors.
So, what can you do? A few smart things.
- Make sure all electronic devices are protected with accountability software such as Kaspersky Safe Kid or Net Nanny, to name a few. This software will provide reports to indicate computer usage.
- Password protect your children’s devices – including their video game consoles – to ensure they can’t download unwanted apps or get to the Internet without adequate protection.
- Limit screen time. Electronic devices should not be used as babysitters. Limit the amount of time your kids are in front of screens, including their phone, computer, video games, and television. Find other activities for them including reading and playing music. Better yet, talk with them, often.
- And speaking of talking – have the “talk.” There are a lot of resources available to assist you in communicating correctly to your kids based on their age. Go to https://truenorthfp.org/tools-parents/ and see the various resources available to help you.
Take control of what your kids put into their eyes, especially when it comes to sexually. Because if you’re not teaching them, porn will.
Eddie Capparucci is a licensed, Christian counselor with a private practice in Marietta, GA, and he specializes in the treatment of sexual and pornography addiction. You can see more of his writing at www.MenAgainstPorn.org. His latest book, “Going Deeper: How the Inner Child Impacts Your Sexual Addiction” will be released in February 2020.
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